The Consequences of Poking Around

August, 2013

Five weeks ago, Shane stuck a sharp object in her eye. The end of the bottle opener was more like a weapon of child destruction than a tool of peaceful living. She was pretending to open coke bottles when the accident occurred. Emelie and I didn't see it happen. We heard crying and saw her with her face in her hands.

Like all concerned parents, we imagined the worst and hoped for the best. It seems the former is more likely to be the result. I tested her sight yesterday by covering one eye and and asking her to identify simple objects which I held in my hand. The first clue to her lack of vision was her eye's inability to settle down and focus on the object just a few inches in front of her. Her eye roamed around this way and that as if searching for something to see. My heart dropped into a funk of sorrow at the sight of this. And then when I asked her to identify one object at a time, she only guessed and was wrong each time.

I am trying not to act too concerned around her. Her own attitude hasn't changed one iota. She is still the cheerful and happy little girl she's grown into since first coming to us. I want to cry. Is now an okay time?

The eye doctor says he sees signs of a cataract forming. He says she scratched her cornea and hit the lens but he doesn't know how much damage there is, and if it can be repaired, until the eye is healed. We've been taking her to him every Saturday to check the progress of healing.

On a positive note, there has been no infection and she won't lose the eye as long as we keep infection away with the antibiotic cream we apply every three hours.

I don't know what else to tell you. The rest of what could be said is in the realm of feelings and not facts. If you've had children, then you probably already know our sadness and angst.

However, there is one  thing I need to say. What keeps my boat afloat is the fact that Shane has remained on an even keel. If she was an adult, I would suspect that her apparent sense of well-being might be a decided cover for the sake of protecting herself, and us, from true feelings of sadness. But she has yet to learn of such deception and shows her feelings in the moment they occur.

In addition, self-pity is not a part of Shane's program. I suspect she learned to avoid this pitfall from observing my wife. A great role model in not feeling sorry for oneself, she takes life as it comes and plays an active role in her own destiny, without dwelling on the hand she is dealt.

The two of them are a marvel to me.